Web Design Team | Vibrations 2012

Say it's Friday and you just got paid. You don't have work in the morning and you don't have any plans for tonight. You call up a friend who tells you that there's a gay karaoke bar close by, and that it's supposed to be pretty cool. Maybe your first reaction is, Awesome! Let's do it! Look out other-people's-ears, here we come! Then again, if this is a new experience for you, you might be more hesitant to answer at first; you might even find that your mind is swimming with questions for your friend, like, What should I wear? And, Will I have to sing? And, You know I'm not gay, right?

If you happen to fall into that anxiety stricken latter category, then you can soon rest your mind at ease. Together, we are first going to figure out if gay karaoke bars are the right kinds of places for you, and, if it's a good fit, we'll then go over some frequently asked gay bar questions, and lastly, we'll lay down some basic guidelines to ensure that you and those around you have a fun, safe, and memorable experience.

So before we go any further, let's see if a karaoke gay bar is the kind of place for you with a brief questionnaire (check as many dots as they apply to you):

I enjoy friendly, laidback environments.

I enjoy an occasional drink, and don't mind being around others who do.

I like to sing/listen to others sing (or try to sing).

I am a fan of musicals.

I think gay people are awesome.

I can laugh at myself.

I am homophobic.

I am a generally mean/angry/cynically hostile person.

I am Liza Minelli.

If you checked "yes" to most of the first six questions, then the odds are that you would likely be a good fit at a gay karaoke bar. If, however, you checked any of the dots from questions seven through nine, then chances are that it's not a very good idea for you to go (question nine, in particular, being a matter of personal safety since you would likely get mauled by a mob of drunken, adoring fans). So, if you've gotten this far, it seems that you would fit in fairly well with the gay karaoke crowd, but you probably still have a few questions. That's understandable. Let's dive right in what is likely the question at the forefront of your mind:

Did I mention that I'm not gay? Well, I sort of implied that you said that in the opening paragraph—but that's okay. Gay bars have no rules discriminating against people of any sexual orientation, and even if there were, it's not exactly like there's any way to enforce it—"You're supposed to be gay, huh? Prove it; go kiss that guy over there." So the short answer is: no, you don't need to be gay to enter.

Is there a certain way I'm expected to dress? Once more, the short answer is: no. Don't let the stereotypes of the denim cut-off shorts, the ass-less leather chaps, and the Freddie Mercury mustaches give you the wrong impression; though you might see one or even all of those things throughout your evening, they are not the norm. I might add, however, that while you're not necessarily expected to dress any particular way, you may certainly use this as an occasion to dress up and express yourself and your style without fearing that the people around you are calling your sexuality into question. If you want to use it as an excuse to buy stylish new clothes, go for it; if you feel like pulling out that purple vinyl disco shirt that none of your friends will let you wear around them (but you refuse to throw it away), this is what you've been saving it for; if you've always wondered what it's like to wear a skirt and heels, then feel free. Nobody will care. Worst-case scenario: you might get some pointers if you look like you're having trouble wearing them right.

Do I have to sing? Once more: no, but you may. These places tend to have a pretty even three-way split between those who can sing, those who try (bless their hearts), and those who are hilarious. Whether you're the seasoned vet who knows you can pull off Bohemian Rhapsody all by himself or the guy who's had a few too many and misses ninety percent of the lyrics to Macho Man—with the exception of the chorus's, "I've got to be… *burp* …Macho!"—know which of these groups you'll fit into, play it up with all of the charisma you can muster, and have fun. You might well be surprised at the conversations that your drunken rendition of I Will Survive could spark.

Lastly, let's try to go over a few general tips to ensure that you can make the most of your gay karaoke experience.

Use common sense. If it applies at a straight bar, it probably applies at a gay bar too. Treat others with respect, tip well, and drink responsibly.
Don't be afraid to step outside of your comfort zone. Strike up a conversation with a stranger. Don't worry too much about getting hit on; chances are, if you're straight, you won't even need to tell anyone—they'll know. If you're a girl, sing a boy song (suggestion: Around the World by The Red Hot Chili Peppers), and if you're a guy, sing a lady song (suggestion: Bonnie Tyler's Total Eclipse of the Heart. You know you know the words—or enough of them anyway). And obviously, if you feel like dancing, then dance!
Lastly: Don't stare at the drag queens... But if they catch you staring, don't go up to them and tell them something like how convincing they look—you wouldn't tell that to a woman, would you? Just make a complimentary, flirtatious gesture and mouth something enthusiastic, yet vague, like, I love it, or, You rock!

As the Roman poet Horace once said, "It's a good thing to be foolishly gay once in a while." An evening out at a gay karaoke bar can be a wonderful, memorable experience if you can keep these simple guidelines in mind—and like most things in life, a lot of what you get out of it is what you put into it. Keep in mind that unlike many straight bars, you'll never find some sad-sack-loner propped against the bar, or a couple arguing loudly in the corner ruining the mood for everyone else (because who can even hear them?), and of course, if you're bored at a gay karaoke bar, you might want to check if you still have a pulse. The people who attend gay karaoke bars are there with the primary intention of having fun—and gay people happen to do fun very well. Hell, they might as well change the definition of gay back and just call them 'happy' karaoke bars. So, after learning a little bit about gay karaoke bars, hopefully, the next time a friend invites you out to a gay karaoke bar, your first reaction will be: Awesome! Let's do it! Look out other-people's-ears, here we come!